I remained celibate. It was easy. I still didn’t date. But no one I knew, none of my small but slowly growing number of friends was anything but supportive, no one except for my parents, of course.And then one day there was a miracle. It was Saturday. I was on my way out of the library when someone stopped me. He was a young man I’d seen in the library on several occasions. I’d noticed he seemed interested in me and I even thought that he looked like he might want to speak to me. I could tell he was nearly as shy as I was, at least when he was talking to women. But he caught my eye and I wondered about him.That fateful Saturday he was waiting for me on the steps of the library when I came out. He caught up to me as I was descending the wide stone staircase and said, “Excuse me. Do you have a moment?”I could see how nervous he was. I could hear it in his voice. I think that was why I had the nerve to stop and speak to him. I recognized a kindred soul.I stopped and waited to find out. Then, before Sam could get a word in edgewise, “I brought some shoes with me too, in your size. You might want to practice walking in them before we go out.”That gave Sam a jolt. “Go out?” he said. The idea of being seen in public, the risk of being recognized; how could he go out?Chloe smiled indulgently. “Yes, go out,” she said. “You don’t think I’m going to just sit here with some loser all night, do you? We’re going out. Or don’t you have the balls?”The way she said it alerted Sam to the fact that something was wrong. Whenever he wore Melinda’s underwear, he was always acutely aware of the way his bits were all squished up, or spilling out. He was feeling none of that now.Chloe was giving him a wicked look, her jaw still moving rhythmically. “Why don’t you have a look in the mirror?” she said.So Sam got up, nervous bile rising. Chloe followed him into Melinda’s room, where he regarded himself in the full length mirror.It was too much to take in at once, as if existence were.
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