.." You ain't too young no more. Now you got experience. Means next time you'll be much more ready." Next time..." she felt and heard the quaver in her voice."I know you ain't stupid - well I ain't either. I've seen it before. Maybe your mind isn't quite ready to admit what your body and soul are crying out for... " He let his remark trail off but he was looking at her as if he'd said the most matter-of-fact thing in the world.She wanted to argue with him but she didn't. She didn't somehow feel able to find a combination of words that didn't just sound hollow and contrived.He gave a little shrug. "Like I say you don't strike me as dumb. You'll do what you know you need to do when you're ready".She looked at him for a long moment. It wasn't the fact that he just seemed to assume that soon she'd be like her cousin - knocked up with a Black man's baby. Rather it was the destabilising knowledge that he might well be right. With an effort she pushed her doubts and uncertainties into the. Even with this bullshit with Pete, I’m really glad you’re here.”“Me too,” I agreed.“And now, let’s sleep,” Lara said. “Love you both.”Heather’s departure was early and low-key. Since she was returning in a few days, it was not the difficult separation we usually faced. Still, by nine o’clock I was already feeling quite deflated. Even though Lara had a plan to let Pete have a second chance, I felt uneasy about the situation. Part of me wanted it to work out, so that the band and everything could continue as if nothing had happened. But I also partly wished that it would not work out, but the reasons for these latter thoughts were harder to pin down.I wasted the day away with a book and some guitar practice. Sarah was on the slopes with Frej again, who apparently had done quite well on his first day and was eager for more. Though it would’ve been a good day to get the ski season started for me, I didn’t have the energy.Lara escaped reality by immersing herself in a book. She wasn’t.
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