Oh, my God, you can't believe it's happening again. Your baby's gone, andyou're all alone and it looks like the end." "And you're back out on the street. and you're tryin' to remember. Howdo you start it over? You don't know if you can. You don't care much fora stranger's touch, but you can't hold your man." "You never thought you'd be alone this far down the line. And I knowwhat's been on your mind. You're afraid it's all been wasted time." When I got home from the gravel pits, thank god my parents were alreadyin bed. I know I smelled like cigarettes and beer, and I wasn't walkingtoo straight. I switched on my radio and lay down on the bed. I stared atthe ceiling for a minute, then I made the drunken mistake of opening an oldwound. As Wasted Time by The Eagles drifted from my clock radio, I slowlypaged through one of my old journals. My name was written neatly in the margins3 different ways, with my ex boyfriends last name. Tanya Reed-Martin, Tanya Mary Martin,. Mary and Angus watched from the doorway, smiling as their daughter walked hand-in-hand with her son up the path to the front steps. I pulled the bags out of the trunk and followed the noisy, happy group into the house."How does someone your size so easily overpower someone my size?" I asked as she nuzzled into my shoulder."Stored energy. A month of waiting for this, all compressed and ready to explode." By that logic, I should have been just as powerful." Men are weak, women are strong," she said, nipping at my chin.How we'd got from there to here was a story on its own. Mary had conspired with Nicole to pack a small overnight bag for her daughter, and with Angus's approval, we were sent off to my condominium the minute Jimmy was asleep with the solemn promise that we would return before nine o'clock Saturday morning."It was far better, you know," I said, kissing her forehead."Yes ... much more than I dreamed." You dreamed about this too?" Is that a surprise?" No ... I guess not. All.
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