2 weeks ago, he was acting tough on social media ... my vote for this year’s Darwin Award!✧ ✧ ✧GOOGLE Pizza (phone order conversation)Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?No sir – it’s Google Pizza.I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.OK. I would like to order a pizza.Do you want your usual, sir?My usual – you know me?According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.OK – that’s what I want.May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta – arugula – sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?What? I detest vegetables!Your cholesterol is not good, sir.How the hell do you know?Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I. I did neither. I waited. He fidgeted and finally blurted out, “How dare you, bring androids to my city. They are dangerous when left unattended. This one injured five of my guards.”“Only five?” I asked drolly.“You will empty your ship and leave this city immediately,” he bellowed at me.“I can hardly leave immediately and empty my ship. The two actions are not synonymous,” I said languidly.“What?” he shrieked.“My ship will take at least a day to empty. So I can’t leave immediately. So the orders conflict,” I said more slowly as if I was explaining something to a person who had difficulty understand me.He made some unintelligible noises then spat out, “Just do as I have commanded.”“I also can’t leave without my crew. You have my Captain and his two first offices in chains and also the Captain of my grain ship,” I informed him.“You can have the three humans. They will be delivered to you upon your departure. However the ship that Captain Pain owned has been confiscated by the crown for.
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