She didn’t mean to. It’s all uncharted territory this. She was just trying, I don’t know, to get things organized in a useful way.”“Hmm,” I said which was the same as saying nothing.“Look, if I have my way this little confab might last a while. Can I get you something, I mean even a donut?” he said. I laughed.“Look around you. Do you think that even a loser like me would be eating anything they serve in here?” I said.“Actually, yes,” he said, smiling.“Touché,” I said. “Fact is I’ve eaten here lots. But it was always against my better judgment.”“Going back to something you said a few minutes ago,” he said.“What?” I said.“That you’d consider taking a hand up from me if I included your buds. That a true thing?” he said. I looked at him hard.“Let’s talk about something else, okay. I’m not into making decisions for other people today. And, in any event I just can’t be around the woman on any level not required by law or basic humanity, not anymore, not after today,” I said.“Man, so you. Please. just do your best to calm things. In time, she'll come to acceptthings as they have to be. She'll get over this and so will you." For amoment I felt like blurting out that not only would I not, but that Iwas actively helping Steph. But I held back. It would have been just toomuch to reveal. I couldn't imagine what my Mother would say or think ordo if she knew all that I knew. Instead I just nodded, an act ofdishonesty not only to her, but to Steph too, and myself. I was angry,angry and miserable, and filled with resentment for my mother, for herblindness, her absence, her own secretiveness. But, despite all, I felta terrible pang when, at my nod, she rose to go, all her determinationnow resummoned, and her steely control back in place. As she left shelooked back for a moment. "Ken. Do me one other favor, please?" Her lookmelted me again. A mother's hold is forever."Please Ken. No more dressing up. Will you?" I hesitated. Of course tosay yes was to make an admission, but I.
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