My next crap could spell disaster.Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough,. " Mom!" Mary yelled. "What the hell are you saying?"Cindy fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. "I will...Iwill...do wh...what ever you want," she sobbed.Serena stood in front of Mary's mother, watching the housewife sobpathetically. Serena couldn't help but notice Cindy's generous chestrise and fall as she made a complete fool of herself."Strip," Serena said coldly.Cindy's babbling stopped as she absorbed what she had just been told todo."My mother isn't going to strip you sick lezzy!" Mary yelled. "I'm notgoing to just stand here and let you hurt my family!"Mary, perhaps forgetting what had just transpired moments ago, rushedtowards Serena. Serena simply chuckled and waved her hand. Mary stoppeddead in her tracks as she felt the cool air on her now naked body. "Whatthe hell!" Mary screamed, her arms scrambling to cover her naked frame.Damn Serena thought to herself, as much as I don't like this bitch, shedoes have a rocking body. Serena was especially partial to Mary's.
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