Man, I was bummed out. That evening I was glad no one else was home. I moped around my room and went to bed without even jerking off.Would you believe the very next afternoon as I was leaving school with my head down, still bemoaning the lousy way life had turned around on me, there she was walking beside me. "Hi, Jimmy, I hope you're not mad at me. I'm sorry for blowing you off like that, yesterday."I didn't know whether to be mad or happy or what. "It was kind of weird." Yeah, I know, but what was I supposed to do? Say, 'This is my friend, Jimmy. I love to suck his cock and let him lick my pussy.'"I felt my face turning red hearing her say she loved doing what I wanted to do so bad. "No, I don't suppose so, but I was afraid I wasn't going to see you again."She laughed, "Not much chance of that. You're not going to get away from me that easy. Anyway, I've been thinking of something I want to try. Can you come over right now?"Oh, god, talk about going from the depths of despair to. Perfect was an ideal, a mathematical limit that could never be reached. My attempts to BE perfection had always been doomed to fail. Now? Now all I wanted to be was ... his.Bless his heart, he probably would have taken me back the way I am now. I could see it in his eyes before I left him yesterday. He told me he accepted me however I was. He told me he would be perfectly happy with an imperfect me.But I still had my pride.God damn my pride.Sure, it would have been easier to just crawl back to him and heal together. Easier, but not better. Not for him. He deserves better.I wouldn't let him take me the way I am. I couldn't. To return to him now, before I'd come to terms with what I'd done, would poison our relationship. It would eat me from the inside, a rotting cancer at my core. For his sake, I knew I had to be better. The only question was: how?This was my solution. I had come back to this place – this special, special place. It was the birthplace of "us", of the "we" we would.
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