Our moms would usually bring a cushion or towel over from the patio and set it down on the seat before sitting down. The other kids would usually bring some water over from the pool and pour it over the seat to cool it off. I would just sit down on the hot seat. I liked the way it really heated up my bottom. And as it heated my bottom it was like the heat flowed up toward my tummy and made me feel really good." Some of my friends would ask, 'Doesn't that hurt?' and I would answer, 'No, it feels good.' One day one of the mothers expressed concern that I might actually have burned myself, and asked to see my bottom to see if it was overly red. I stood up and turned around to show her my bottom and one of my friends said, 'You really can't tell with your swimsuit on,' so I lowered my little swimsuit to the ground and bent over to show them that my bottom wasn't burned." All of a sudden, the heat in my tummy got very warm and squishy. No, I wasn't getting wet. I was too young. ‘They are finished Mama.’ I said with more certainty than I actually felt. ‘Are they now? And he’s gotten this ‘man’ thing out of his system?’ ‘Mama Please?’ ‘Is he finished with men Justine?’ ‘It was just the one time Mama, and he says he loves me.’ She took another long drag of her cigarette, held it, and blew it out as if she were attempting to blow Malichai right out of my head. ‘It was one time, so he says, for four years! And he said he loved you before! So, is the boy finished with the men Justine?’ ‘Yes Mama, yes he is finished with men, he wants me, and he loves me.’ ‘And you want him too, you love him?’ She asked flatly. A few minutes passed before I answered, for once content to listen to her smoke. ‘Yes Mama, I love him, I want him, I need him …’ ‘Then baby, if you love him so much what’s the problem? Why are you sitting there crying? Why can’t you marry Malichai?’ I was taken aback by my mother’s reply. I had expected her to have jumped in the car as soon as I told her.
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