We sit beside one another, separated by a duenna's palmwidth of propriety, she in her gleaming leotard while I amnaked. I watch as the light from the burning logs flickerover her face. There are almost-freckles on her cheeks thatalmost glow as the tongues of flame lick outward in thefireplace. I can feel Sue's flush rise from the warmth ofthe blaze before us. I long to feel the heat rise from herflesh, but feel it is inappropriate. We stare at the depthof the fire, apart, together.Nina comes into the room. She bears a tray with a bottle ofwine and three glasses and sets it down on the table infront of the overstuffed couch catty corner to the Ottomanwhere I sit beside Sue. Nina is wearing a silk wrap aroundgown that barely reaches to the top of her thighs and thatis translucent in the roar of the fire. Nina's light brownhair drops over this fine material and seems to be organic,pulsing in the light of the flames. She tells me to cleanmyself, and I realize that our outpourings have. Everything was in good fun.I found myself mostly circulating away from Liz, if only for my mental health. There was enough of a crowd that it wouldn't have seemed obvious. Besides, I wasn't actively avoiding her. Just not spending any significant time in her presence. I don't do well in crowds, and she was usually in one. Mostly, the retreat helped to reinforce my idea that I wanted Liz as a friend, and I wouldn't freak out in the meantime. After we came back from the retreat, things went back to normal. When Liz changed labs (she was required to work two lab rotations at Hopkins), I naturally started dropping by her new lab. I've never tried to hide my visits, though I usually stopped by when few people were around. Mostly to keep from being underfoot--she worked in fairly large labs. Since none of my friends better anchored in the gossip grapevine have asked me (even in jest) why I'm hanging around Liz like a puppy dog, I guess that the infrequency of my visits made it sufficiently.
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