. When I met Steve — what was it, six months ago? — I was going along, generally pretty happy. I had my line-up of guys to sleep with and I thought I had my life pretty well organized. But you know, I wasn't really happy about it all. I thought there was something wrong with me that I needed to have so many men, needed to get laid so often. Not really serious, you know, but wondering. Then, the first night I went out with Steve, I ended up fucking him and two other guys almost all night. Well, the next day I felt wonderful — until I started to think about it all. Then, I got really upset. I didn't know how to deal with it."What were you upset about?' Bev asked, "I mean, what were you thinking, exactly?'"I kept saying to myself, 'Why am I like this? Why do I need so much sex? Isn't it wrong?' No, that's not really what I was thinking. It was more like, 'There's something wrong with me, and this much need for sex is wrong.''"And what happened?' Ralph asked."Well, it's funny. I sort of. He even introduced me to his friends as "his girl" - something that always made me smile and made my heart soar!Looking back on it now, I feel like there were times when he wanted to feel like he was the man of the house and it was his job to look after me. I had never suggested it or put any kind of pressure on him to take on such a responsibility, but I think he felt he was getting older and it was time for him to step up. I admired him for wanting to take care of his mother that way, it was very grown up and mature of him. I wish there were more men that thought like that!Almost before I knew it, my "little boy" David was 18 years old. I was starting to wonder when he was going to start dating girls and bringing them home to meet me. He was a good-looking boy, much like his father in a lot of ways… tall, dark and handsome. And with his charm and easy-going nature, he should be dripping with girls!I hate to admit it, but sometimes on especially lonely nights, I lay in my bed with.
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