’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!”The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.The Irishman swore every word was true.“Did this actually happen to you?” asked the Englishman.“Not me self,. Halfway through my cigarette, my phone starts buzzing loudly from my pocket. “’Lo?” I answer, blowing smoke from my lungs. God that felt good. “Rae! It’s me, Carolina. I was wondering if you want to come over to my place? Henrik isn’t home, and we could… You know!” I push my dark brown hair out of my face and smile. Carolina was always horny and we often fooled around while her boyfriend was away. “Sure. Can you come pick me up at the front of my neighborhood? I have Foxy, but she can probably just chill, right?” “Yeah! I’ll be there… In like fifteen minutes. Bye!” I hang up the phone and take out another cigarette. Walking towards the front of the neighborhood, I light up and take a deep puff. I smile. Who cares if my parents are Mormon? Who cares if I get kicked out? Life is too fucking short. I watch Carolina’s old car putter to a stop and I climb in. “Hey there, gorgeous,” Carolina greets me with a smile and mashes her lips against mine. I slide my tongue across her bottom lip.
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