All the companies I'd ever dealt with, from my bank to acompany I'd mail-ordered a model Stegosaurus from when I was fourteen,and all the government branches and departments from the IRS to thecounty courthouse. I had to modify my wife and daughter's records,too, and people's memories of them -- to remove the evidence of ourmarriage, and make Megan a bastard born to a single mother whosupposedly couldn't remember the name of the man she'd had sex withnine months before.Then all the other people I knew, the morgue of the local newspaperand the libraries that had copies of those articles on my company.I destroyed photos of myself and removed myself from group photos,both in newspaper archives, in my company's offices, and in friends'and relatives' homes. I teleported to the police morgue and destroyed myfake corpse and all the pathologist's samples, erased the pathologist'smemories of my autopsy, and modified the memories of all the officerswho'd investigated my "murder."Finally I. Why?I don't understand.What did I do wrong?Why are you doing this to me?(All shit things to say.)What did I do to deserve feeling like this!I'm not a person to flash into a rage - I'm a slow boil. By the timeRose has messaged me three times and rung twice; when I've dropped thephone into a kitchen drawer without getting any further that summoning ablank message line for Jay, I can feel it bubbling. In my bedroom Istrip away my uniform, hang it neatly for tomorrow, bundle tights andunderwear and blouse into the laundry basket and ignore my pyjamassitting welcoming on the pillow.Jay's clothes have gone, the bathroom looks bare with just my thingsaround the sink and shower; Jay's left me and I'm not going to sitaround in my pyjamas compounding my misery with a tub of ice cream; I'mgetting mad.How! Why would he do this to me? Everything I did for him. Held him whenhis Mum died, stifled his sobs and shakes with my own embrace. I helpedhim clear her bungalow when his heart was breaking, I.
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