But as I said previously, for some reason it worked. I felt comforted. Peter already knew so many things about me. And he chose me still. He wanted me so much. I did feel as though I belonged to him, and I guess that is not a desirable situation. However it was not like possession. At least not a possession that rendered me without my independent self. It was more like we were an inseparable team. For some reason, Peter even seemed to know that I would not be offended when I read this file. Peter dismissed the two waiters with a smile and a substantial tip, and called me to join him. I ate the food with relish only then realising how hungry I was. We talked over food and wine and wondered about his oddities and what I was to make of it all. ‘You must think me so strange.’ ‘No, I only think I am strange for being flattered and feeling safe. Do you tap into strength in me or a weakness?’ After our meal, he reached over and took my hand. I felt so good. I felt as though I had known him. Step Two: Identity Comparison At this stage, a person may try to find an explanation for why they are having the feelings they are experiencing. "Maybe I am gay. Or maybe I’m bisexual.” Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder “Is this a phase?” “Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or is this going to be a permanent trend?”Step Three: Identity Tolerance.In this stage, a person might begin to accept identifying as gay, lesbian or transgendered or bisexual. Some might come to terms with some parts of being a gay, but not fully embrace it. One might accept participating in sexual activity with woman and consider it okay, but may not be ready to identity as lesbian or bisexual for example, in public- thus, leading a ‘double life.’ Or a man may come to accept that he has fallen in love with another man, but considers this an isolated situation. At this stage, it is common for people to seek out a gay/ lesbian/bi-sexual community or.
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