If I didn't think too hard about how these little event wastechnically a date, I could just relax and be myself around him just likeI could both of them. Patrick, once you got to know him, was pretty coolin his own way.Too bad liking him as a person and enjoying his company only made my wholesecret reason seem even dumber than Emily made it out to be. That's afeeling I got off and on at the most inconvenient times over the next fewweeks as I threw myself into this whole scheme or plan or whatever it wassupposed to be. Beyond pretending to be the traditional girl in atraditional het relationship and feeling all kinds of weirdness from that,I'd be brushing my teeth thinking about my day and then realizing part ofit was going to be spent having fun with Patrick and I'd cringe big time. Not because of the het stuff and not being into guys, but because what Iwas doing was so unfair to him.Emily was right. This was a huge mistake and a really cruel thing to doto him. But after going. "Well, I'd like to take my fiancé, but I was wondering if that would be fair to Patty." I have a solution if you guys would go for it," Patty said."What's that, Sis?" Alex Walters invited me to go with him. I reminded him that I have a boyfriend and that if I went with him, it would be as 'just a friend'. He said he could live with that, so I told him I'd let him know by the end of next week," Patty said.I looked at Karen and she nodded. "We could always hang out together," Karen said. "I'm sure your bratty little sister would give you a dance or two."Day 192 Sunday, May 1Patty, Karen, and mom decided they were going into the city today to look at Prom dresses. After they left, I decided to go over and visit with Claude for a while. Claude and I had grown even closer since Martha's death. At first I thought of him as Karen's dad. Then I started thinking of him as someone I wished had been my father. Now I thought of him as a father/friend.Claude was sitting on the porch swing when I.
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