’ She was quiet for a moment. ‘Good point, but not enough. OK. When you do stop hating the world, what next?’ ‘One day at a time, Lily. I’ve got enough problems without planning a future that isn’t there.’ Her turn to stare. ‘You’ve lost a leg, Mr. Lennox: one limb out of four. So you’re batting seven fifty, and you’re pretty mobile, and you can wipe your own ass when you take a crap. That’s more than some.’ She stood. ‘I’ll come back tomorrow. Have a nice day.’ She turned and stomped out, leaving a trail of anger behind her. I went back to the paper and wondered why the funnies were even worse than before. It was mid-afternoon before I even thought about the first beer. For some reason I’d woken up earlier the next morning, and had even had some crackers with my juice, but my stomach still felt hollow when the doorbell rang. ‘Door’s open,’ I called. Casual as hell. She came into the kitchen hesitantly. ‘Mr. Lennox, I shouldn’t have said what I said yesterday. It was unforgiveable.. There are no worries"Gordon Brown thinks "It's not bad this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Britain be like in 100 years time?"The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout.But he just stares at it."Come on Gordon" says Obama, "Tell us what it says" I can't! It's all in Arabic!"Joe wanted to buy a motorbike.He doesn't have much luck until one day he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years Old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such Great condition for 10 years.'Well, it's quite simple, really, ' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It Protects it from the rain.'And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her Parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.But just before.
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