Lately we've been going to thesame one on Wednesday nights, the Red Dragon. Sara goes up and she'sreally good. Me? I'm terrified. Performing on a stage is probably mybiggest fears, ever since childhood. If I can surprise her by getting upon stage that should impress her. If you say you're devoted, showdevotion. If Sara wants to have fun at a karaoke bar than we are going tohave fun at a karaoke bar.Funny, but I don't ever think about my old friends anymore. They would mixin this world like oil does water. Karaoke? They'd be heckling. Theywouldn't appreciate the artistry of the performers at the Garage, allthey'd see would be a room full of faggots. Sara was so right about them.What a bunch of fucking losers they are. What a loser I was when I washanging out with them. Sara was absolutely correct in forcing me to make acomplete break from them. I'm sorry to say I haven't thought too muchabout my family either. I think my feelings towards Richard and Cheryl arestill to raw for me to. At first, I had a dream where I could see her fucking some un-named person with no face, and then it became Jim she was fucking... I always wake up excited, turned on, with a huge knot in my stomach, so why not? As long as she knew where home was, and I knew what she was doing, why couldn’t she get laid once in a while; especially if I approved. What would be wrong IF both of us enjoyed her promiscuity? Then she wasn=t lying, cheating, stepping out, betraying anyone... she was just enjoying a good fuck, for the pleasure of fucking. There was no ‘affair’ nor the complications of an affair involved. In some strange twist of logic it made sense to me? and appealed to my inner demon.ATo be honest, I have no idea... I find it exciting somehow. And who knows, you might enjoy it. I might find myself too jealous and insecure to abide the reality of you being with someone else and hate everything about it? or I might just enjoy it... never know till we try.@AAnd what happens if I.
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