He seemed to have understood my uneasiness.“I can understand you dear… you are my daughter, I know you very much. Why did you think of doing that? It’s ok. Let me see… show me…”When I still hesitated, he said with a caring voice, “If you leave it that way, it’ll become septic. I’m your dad, Sumathi… I can understand. I will help you ok?” He was assuring me in a way that I could never say A no.“Ok. Dad… but don’t say this to mom please…” I said with tears in my eyes.I could see a smile as a response from his face. I never thought it as a wicked smile.Composed by his assuring smile, I slowly moved my legs onto the bed and then rolling off my skirt over my knees through the soft thighs, slowly to my hips I showed him my half-shaved cunt to him. There I was, an 18-year old grown up girl, showing up my cunt for the first time to a man, the man being my dad.“Oh dear… what have you done… don’t worry… it’ll be fine…” he said to me and then getting some cotton, he smudged it on the blood over. I puckered my lips and, looking in the mirror, I spoke a few words in some affected sultry voice. An Anastasia wannabe stared back at me. She was nowhere near convincing, and I remember thinking no man would ever fall for her. I averted my not-at-all-green eyes and threw the wig against the wall. It landed silently by the trash bin. That week, men in search of Anastasia didn’t find her in any of the virtual rooms.IVI had no plans of ever giving up on Anastasia. I wanted to be her, no matter how ridiculous an idea that seemed. I ordered green contacts from a “trustworthy” online supplier. They arrived three days later. This time the mirror was more forgiving. The Anastasia that looked me in the eye felt more self-confident this time.I didn’t throw away the wig. Instead, I took off my clothes and stared at myself for a long time. The reflection was that of a frail, small body, hairless, as white as milk. It was a cruel joke made by a universe that began to craft a girl but ultimately.
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