Inside the darkness of the garage he heard someone movingaround, so he fumbled for the light. He was astonished to see an image ofhimself dressed in his usual casual clothes."Hi John," said the apparition, "glad that you found all the clothes Ileft for you, I must say you look very smart and that mack suits youbeautifully, you must take the others with you to the Home, you will be asensation.I suppose I'd better explain, you see I was very hurt and angry when Ifound that your parents planned to shuffle me off to that home becausethey wanted to have a child and didn't want the bother of an old ladyaround as well. My anger fuelled a curious magical rift in time so thatif I was able to get you to try on my clothes in your time I would beable to take your body in exchange for mine and transport you back to thepoint I was to enter the Care Home as me. When you found the box of myold clothes, I compelled you to put on my clothes, you hardly put up anyresistance, rufty tufty bully boy John. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?” She replied “$200”. To the brunette he asked the same question. Her reply was “$100”. He then asked the redhead. Her reply was “Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in, keep it rising like the price of gas, keep me warmer than in my apartment, and screw me the way you have all retirees, then it isn’t going to cost you a damned cent tonight!”What do u call a woman with no legs? Fanny Walker.A frog telephoned the psychic hotline and was told “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you”. The frog said “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?” “No” said the psychic “Next term ... in her biology class”.I just got a text from a girl saying “Myspacebarisbrokencouldyougivemeanalternative”. Does anyone know the meaning of “ternative”?A fisherman returned to shore.
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