"Yes Madam," I said."That's more like it, Lady Lulu. Now serve me."We took out the pictures. Instead of concentrating on the men, Cynthiawas pointing out the sissies. Her dress and her apron, her heels andher makeup. I felt was if I was one of them.I put the penis gag on. It was hard to adjust to, but once I did, wasnice.*It was Tuesday, time for another session with Dr. Martin. I was wearinga patterned sundress, blue and white. I had on blue heels and I carrieda blue purse. I felt normal. If you had put me in jeans and a t-shirt,I would not have."Hello ... Lulu," he said."You heard, huh?" I said."Yes. Cynthia and I were talking over lunch and she said you found aname you liked." Oh. When did you guys have lunch?" Yesterday," the Doc said. "We wanted to talk about you." Oh," I said."Is that all right, Lulu? Cynthia and I are close, and we're both closeto you. So we had a sandwich. I like her, Lulu." I see," I said."Well, I'm not sure you do, Lulu. We're colleagues. We're friends.". She would tough it all out. She was just that way.But he knew from personal experience that if you hid it deep inside, it festered and became an open wound, poisoning you until you either cracked up and ate your own weapon, left law enforcement, or got help.Too many good cops were afraid of looking weak. They were afraid that no one out there but other cops understood what it felt like to leave the things that they saw and try to go back to the world of normal people. Normal people who didn't deal with the filth and destruction on a daily basis. It was why the divorce rate was so high for cops.How do you tell a wife or husband that you went to a scene of a murder, a three year old child who's father had picked him up by the heels and swung him against a wall, leaving holes in the plaster. And that one day, he had misjudged and swung the kid into a wall stud, shattering his skull.Or how it had felt to see the father, in handcuffs, standing there pissed off as hell, yelling about.
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