I turn my head and shake it, tears forming in my own eyes now “please don’t make him” I gasp out before turning back to face my brother. He looked uncomfortable, staring at the ground, his fade turning a light red. His eyes flicker up to my face briefly before he locks them onto my chest. My fucking stupid chest, no bra, hard nipples I would almost have been insulted if he didn’t look. His arms move forward, and he takes a step towards me. His touch is soft as he cups each of my breasts, feeling them and rolling them around in his palm. I feel a tear trickle from my left eye down my cheek. I stand there not making a sound as im groped by my own brother, not that he had any choice. “ that’s a good man Ellis” my grandfather says with more humour in his voice than I had heard in years. My humiliation was feeding him, igniting something deep within him. My brother’s hands fall away after what feels like an eternity. In reality, only half a minute or so had passes since his hands had made. I want the best for Tim. If I can’t give it to him, I want someone else to.’ Patrice’s words shocked me. I was overjoyed that she was willing to step aside and not be any competition to me, that I had a clear shot at Tim, but I still felt wrong about it. I felt like I was taking advantage of her. My silence as I thought that over spurred her to continue. ‘Do you realize what I’m saying? I’m giving up. Tim is all yours.’ ‘Patrice, I—hell, I’m not sure what I want.’ ‘Don’t you want him?’ she asked, a little agitated. ‘Of course I do. He’s wonderful, he’s handsome, loving… but then you know all that,’ I said. ‘Yes, I do. And I really want you to have him.’ She was really giving up without a fight. I wasn’t sure what to do. Have you ever gotten exactly what you wanted and felt terrible about it? ‘Aren’t you happy, Fran?’ Patrice asked me, sounding concerned now. ‘Yes. I think I am. I’m glad about Tim, but I feel like I’m stealing something from you.’ ‘So what should we do? Arm wrestle.
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