"Great, that would mean further ridicule walking down the street, not tomention having to manage in these heels."We're going to give you a shopping list," he said, "go and touch upyour lipstick while we get it ready."I did as I was told and I stood upstairs in front of the mirror,thinking about what had happened in the last week or so. I put on thelipstick and automatically topped it off with gloss. I was changing. Iwas folding to their wishes. I needed to think of some way out before itbecame too late.Back downstairs, they gave me a list sealed in an envelope."Your shopping list is in here. Do not open it until you are in theshop, get everything on the list exactly right and pay at a mannedcheckout, not the self service one. We will check on the receipt whenyou get back. Any failures will result in a demerit" my Master told me.He pushed me towards the front door and I opened it and looked out.Suddenly the world looked a very scary place. As I tottered down thedrive, I could hear them. But as I have no training as a trick cyclist my opinion is worthless.I had not suffered flashbacks since leaving the army, other than the 'small penis' episode in Maggie's room at the Crown, and the one in Suzannah Weston's office, but unfortunately the period of peace was shattered one night when the full panoply of my demons paraded in front of me.It was the same old gang: the Argie, the Shifta child soldiers, and the young Serb who I had shot in the back, but thankfully they didn't make disparaging remarks about the size of my penis on this occasion. There was also the added 'pleasure' of seeing visions of the corpses left on the road, and in the graves we had excavated, in Bosnia. The sight of their bloodied bodies appearing during my dreaming sleep would bring me to a shivering and startled awaking.Once a week I paraded at Slough Drill Hall with Bravo Company of the 8th Battalion of the Wessex Regiment, a Territorial Army unit. I thought the military atmosphere and camaraderie/.
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