”“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?... “What ... You’re coming empty handed?”Wise Italian GrandfatherWhy Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver so you will always remember me.”“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?”“You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.”“Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.“Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘times up’ “?Irish blonde... An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.She said, “I. Before she came into your life you were an easy target. The Devils that inhabits her body have transitioned into yours. I don’t like it, I am going to have Father McAuley do an exorcism before you get married. I want the old Doctor Even Luck back. He was easier to sneak up on and torment.’ ‘I will repeat what I told you before Rod. You forced me to go to Maine. You ordered me to go to Maine. You said what could possibly happen up there. Well my friend, ‘You have sown the wind, and you shall reap the whirlwind.’ ‘Oh my Lord, Doctor Even Luck is quoting the Bible. Hosea 8: verse 7.’ ‘Rod I don’t know what is scarier, me quoting the Bible, or you knowing chapter and verse.’ ‘Should we let Father McAuley settle the question?’ ‘Let’s leave him out of it for now. I want to get married in church Sunday afternoon. If I start asking him questions like that our discussion will not end for months to come.’ ‘Alright Even this conversation is to be continued at a later date. Are you.
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