............What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to sort herself out. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had. " I dunno, you did with Ophelia," Keith says. "Hard to imagine an Angelparty without seeing her there." Hard to imagine my life without seeing her every day," I chuckle. "But Iguess it was bound to happen eventually." Our wives know all about that," Stuart says in an almost solemn voice."As do the two of us, to some extent." You might," Keith retorts, chuckling as his friend rolls his eyes. "Butseriously, yeah, Charlotte was in pieces for days after Jamie moved out.But that's just part of getting older, I guess." Did you think you'd still be living together after you graduate?" Stuartasks."I- I dunno," I say. "I mean, I guess we would, if we both found jobs inLondon, I- I dunno, really. And I mean, we still ARE living together. I'mjust the 'third wheel', heh." Jamie lived with me and Charlotte for ages," Keith shrugs. "She stillspent about as much time with her as I did, heh. Admittedly she didn't atthe start of the relationship, but still, I reckon you're worrying aboutnothing.".
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