I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover!Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!Sweetheart: What's the matter now?Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know...thing...in your... you know...woman's thing.Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!Wellhung: I'm flaccid.Sweetheart: What?Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.Sweetheart: I'm. Fellow officers were out of the question. They just complicated things and risked trouble with his superiors. He was a Lieutenant Colonel, after all, so most of his female comrades were of inferior rank. Thinking of this, Richard decided that he owed himself a trip to the local tavern. It was a Saturday, he was thirsty, and he wished to eat something classically British: fish and chips. He entered the pub at the closest street, and found himself seated by a waitress who couldn?t possibly be more than 20 years old. She had a small frame and hair so light brown that it was almost gray. Her eyes were bright blue, and they struck him as being those of someone feigning innocence. She was more educated and aware of life?s experience than she pretended. She was mature for her age, to put it mildly. ?Good afternoon, sir. You are clearly not a local, so you must be a Yank,? she teased him a bit. ?Gee, and I thought that I was a Brit! Bloody hell! Have I been singing ?God Save The Queen? all.
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