I kept on sneaking glances at him, and suddenly I could see that he was trying to protect me, protect my feelings, and I guess that the only way I can put it is that the guy I thought was just an asshole was really a man. I had two classes in a row, and they just dragged on. I probably should have just cut class, because I didn’t get a thing out of either one. Thing is, I need those classes, because they’re in my major, and I need to get my degree, so that I can support Lucy. Doc and I haven’t been ‘dating’ long enough that I’ve somehow deceived him by not telling him that I have a four-year-old daughter, but if tonight goes as well as I hope it just might, I’ll have to tell him, before things get too far along. And I’ve got to get my head straight: have my feelings for Doc changed so drastically because of him, or is there part or me that’s looking for a dad for Lucy? Lucy needs a father, but it can’t be fair to latch onto a guy just to find her one. When I finally got home, I went. There is no yesterday. There is no tomorrow. There is no later. We have this moment. We have this place. Nothing else exists. Nothing else has meaning. We are alive, so vividly alive. We are free and we are here now. She hugs me a little tighter and nips at my hair. I lean back onto her. It feels good. It would feel better were it not for our jackets. I settle for good. When you race the moon, it is all good. I throw my head back and roar my happiness into the night. Those that have gone on before look down upon our joy and give us their blessing. I decide to allow the moon to win the race by default. The bike begins to slow as my gloved right hand eases up on the throttle. My right foot feathers the rear brake lightly as my left foot downshifts to make a right turn onto a country road. The moon smiles down upon us – a gracious victor. At 45 mph, the wind caresses our faces. I slip a cigarette out of my jacket pocket and light it with the lighter I added to my dashboard. She.
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