”“I’m over that,” I replied. “But that doesn’t mean ignoring those things. Romantic love isn’t enough to overcome fundamental disagreements about what you want from a marriage.”“Are you in love with Elizaveta?”“That’s a difficult question to answer,” I replied. “I love her, but I don’t know that I’d call it ‘in love’. And here’s the practical Mike again - «agape» is the kind of love we need to make this work. In a sense, when she proposed to me, it was creating ‘Team Loucks-Kozlova’ to live our lives together, to love each other, to raise a family, and to be faithful Orthodox Christians with a joint ministry in the diaconate. And before you object, were you ever ‘in love’ with me?”Jocelyn made a funny face which expressed the answer before she actually said it.“No. I just loved you.”“There you go,” I replied.“But you were in love with Tasha, right?”I chuckled, “Tasha and I were in lust, from when we went through puberty. I’ve only ever really been ‘in love’ with Angie.”“April?”“I said. .” I kissed her forehead and her lips again and stood where I was, leaning over her and stroking her wasted arms and face.After a few seconds, she exhaled softly and simply never took in another breath. The monitoring instruments began to keen a loud, warbling tone, but they were announcing something I already knew. My Sharon was gone.Wearily, I stood erect, then bent forward again to kiss her lifeless lips one last time. I patted her hand and backed away from the hospital bed to let the doctor and nurses in.I bit my lips and turned away to embrace Sharon’s mother and father, first Judy and then Bruce. I slipped to the side so they could step to the side of the bed and say goodbye to their youngest daughter.I searched for the door through my tears. I went out, on my way to find my son and daughter. I had to find some way to tell a three-year-old girl and her four-year-old brother their mother wasn’t ever going to hold them in her arms ever again—that she was a with the angels now and.
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