My room was on the ground floor while moms was upstairs so we both had our privacy when we wanted it. I had an en suite bathroom and a nice walk in closet where my bags filled with my secret stash now was hidden in the far corner. Usually I keep them hidden in the attic, mom doesn’t like to go up there, she thinks it is creepy and too dark so they are safe up there. I quickly removed all my boy-clothes and walked into my closet naked and got my exercise outfit from one of the bags, it consists of a pink sports bra and matching pink tights, my false breasts with a pair of cotton panties and a pair of white short socks I didn’t have any female trainers yet so after having dressed, making sure that my boobs were placed properly I pulled my rather long brown hair, mom keeps trying to get me to cut it, into a tight ponytail and added some pink lipstick from my small makeup case before heading out into the living room. Mom uses an aerobic-DVD to keep in shape, and she is in good shape and. Bed sheets lay in a tangle, the smell of him still lingering in the air from his recent shower. I lie down on his side of the bed and snuggle my face into his pillow taking a deep breath in, remembering our last week. God I miss him already. How can he stand this life? Going from one mistress to another? One city to another? Leaving me here, time and time again? I get up from the bed, unable to lie there any longer without breaking down and crying myself raw. I walk out of the bedroom, back into the lounge and sit down. I pick up the remote and turn the stereo on low. Garth Brooks croons to me through the speakers. ‘…broncs and the blood, steers and the mud…’ I turn off the stereo, too distressed to listen to Garth singing about the very thing that has taken my heart away from me. I laugh mirthlessly, Mama always told me never to fall in love with a bull rider but I knew better. I close my eyes thinking of him. Tight Wranglers, big buckles, scuffed boots and a Stetson. What more.
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