”John went through the soul-binding process, then held it up to his face. “Dulgan? Dulgan?” He called.The reflection-less surface flashed several times before the Dwimar’s face appeared a minute later.“John!” He exclaimed. “Tis only been a coupla days! I dinnae think we’re suited ta such unseemly courtin’!”Chuckles rang around the room.“How could I not fall for such a big, tall, large warrior like you?” John joked.Dulgan burst out laughing. “Aye! Ya got me there! Wha’ tis th’ reason fer ya speakin’?”“We’re at Contested Oasis,” John summarized, “and there’s a Legion supply camp here. We linked up with a bunch of Odmaarans and we’re thinking about raiding the camp. We were wondering if you had any news about forces farther west that might make things difficult for us.”“Th’ fightin’s still goin’.” Dulgan said. “Though I think no’ as well as th’ Legion ‘spected. Clan Alpine’s been wiped out, an’ Twilight’s gone inta hiding. Still, th’ Legion’s gotta lotta troops an’ most o’ ‘em ‘r’ inside. His nurse asked, “What’s so funny?”The doctor replies, “You need to go in and see this old guy. He has his girlfriend’s name, ‘Tina’ tattooed on his pecker.”So the nurse decides to go check it out. A while later she comes out of the exam room and tells the doctor, “You were mistaken about him. He doesn’t have his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his equipment, he has his ship’s name tattooed on it. The Ticonderoga!”These are compliments of Andrew B.A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.The man says: “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed: ‘Guess who?’”“But why?” asks the man.“I’m a divorce lawyer.” the man replies.You may have heard about the Southern.
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