She said I needed an "anchor," so she decreed that I would take up smoking. Sheplaced me on a nicotine patch and gum program and by the end of the first week,I was readily chain-smoking her More Menthol 120s.She let my hair grow out and every morning, she'd put me in tight curlers,which I'd wear all day and at night (with a few pins and a hairnet). In themorning she'd take them out and start over again. My hair was only styled andout of curlers for special occasions. But she did something that effected my life, I think, even more than thediapers. One day, she had friends over, like she always did and they werelaughing at me, like they always did. One of the women brought along her 75year old mother, who wore gigantic, thick, "Coke Bottle" glasses, the kind thatmake your eyes look huge to others. The old woman complained that she had justgotten new glasses and hated them and was going to throw them away.My stepmom seized upon them and placed them on me and the room erupted inlaughter,. "The Arab fighters will never acceptLt. Lawrence as their leader if he dresses like that." "I tend to agree with you, Sherman," I replied. The costume wasdecidedly more modest but it was still meant as feminine wear. Lt.Lawrence was dressed in an Arab woman's burqa. A burqa is a looseenveloping garment that covers the face and body and is worn in publicby Muslim women. The only uncovered portion allows for the wearer to seewhere she was walking."What's wrong now?" Lt. Lawrence complained. "This hides all my curvesand that will make it all the harder for me to recruit men." You should dress like a man," Sherman suggested."That's the logical solution, Sherman," I said, "but not necessarily thecorrect one for Lt. Lawrence. It's obvious that our friend here has theneed to express his feminine side." You understand me perfectly, Mr. Peabody," said Lawrence gratefully."Then what's the solution?" said Sherman. "This seems impossible tosolve, Mr. Peabody." Not at all, Sherman," I replied. "I.
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