There's only the sexual drive left, and for someone of my nature, that isn't enough. There's no true chemistry, no true sense of connection of mind as well as the body. Only fulfilling your low-level instincts.Thinking over that, I had snuck inside an abandoned railway workshop just between the bus depot and a train station, almost literally crammed in between. A dark, crumbling, deserted place, with all the tools and material gone, only a space covered in dust and small debris. A place like that that would be begging to become a murder scene. I had thought of going there often and on that night I had done it, as it was one of those times I really, really wished something had happened. Something acute, threatening, challenging. I do not avoid trouble but trouble has avoided me so far. My mind has a need to constantly think and so all the time I thought what to do when it comes to the worst and so far, it never bore fruit.Thinking that with a long sigh, for a short time, I directed my. I couldn't tell. I really wanted to know.So sitting there on the couch, we start talking, and I don't know why he'd said it, but he kind of joked and said "I'd figure you'd be upstairs doing something. Or I dunno, maybe doing yourself."He laughed. And I laughed too.I looked at him and said, "I dunno. Thought maybe I'd come downstairs and catch you doing yourself too."He looked at me, kinda shocked, and said with a laugh after a bit, "Nah. That will probably happen later. Why?"I guess I was curious what he'd say, so I just kinda said, "Well, why don't you do it now? I'll chill out and watch. It might be kinda hot."Mike looked at me, and laughed.I was serious. I just kinda looked at him, and he says to me, "Oh shit. You're like serious?"I just shrugged, nodded and said, "Well yeah. Sure, I mean, why not? You gotta take care of it. Maybe, you know, you might like it more if someone is watching."He kind of looked at me and said, "Yeah, and if someone finds out, I'm gonna get railed and.
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