I had heard you dropped out of grad school so I was thinking it was because you failed.”“No my mother needed me.”“Ah. Yes, I can see that. You are constant aren’t you. Lavi talked around that. Hmm. I think you will balance her well. You will make good children.” She smiled and some of the tension bled away and eating resumed around the table.Saul restarted the conversation with, “So, Robert, what do you think about the West Bank...”“Zayde!” “Ahuv!” The dual shouts came from Lavi and her grandmother.I remained silent, deciding to not to antagonize two generations of Heller women. When it was obvious I wasn’t going to elaborate Saul decided to move things along. He picked up a biscuit. “These are very irregular.”“Drop biscuits,” I said. “And the red eye gravy is made with beef drippings instead of ham. The butter is plant based so it is all kosher. I couldn’t find grits from a kosher grocery but I verified with the farm I got them from that they process the corn themselves and they. When I get out of school and out of the house, I'll model myself on her. That would be fulfillment. And that would be bliss. Her clothes are so tasteful and glamorous.. Her makeup and hair are perfect. Everything about that woman shows feminine grace and elegance. Men find her absolutely irresistible. I want so much to be her. She is the very image of the woman whom I was born to become.Sometimes I feel that I want to be a girl with a sweet childlike look. I want to look pretty and wholesome and have a radiant smile. I want to be like the proverbial girl next door, the cheerleader, the popular one, and the vivacious one. I want a cute boyfriend who loves me madly. I think I shall wear bright trendy clothes. I shall have my hair lightened and wear it in a perky ponytail. I'll work hard at staying sexy and pretty for my boyfriend and keeping him happy and warm. She is the sweet and pretty girl I want to be.I watch the Russian Ice Dancer gliding effortlessly across the ice with her.
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