"You really oughta stay in school, Dave. How're you gonna make something of yourself unless you put something inside that empty head of yours? You're smart, I can tell. Why're you wasting yourself in this shitty little dump of a town, anyway?" Because, well, I was born here and anyway where'm I gonna go?"She just stood there and smiled. She had a luminous smile.Well, we got to be quite good friends. I told her my troubles and even got to the point where I could talk about girlfriend problems with her.Girlfriend problems? I wished I had them. Girls had been avoiding me like the plague. Unsurprisingly, I was still a virgin. Virgin? I had kissed a girl exactly once, and that was more of a brother-sister kiss than a passionate one. For that matter, I was still kind of fuzzy about, you know, the "birds and bees" stuff. This was back in the early 60s, you see. The Dark Ages. Before universal sex education. Before universal sex."Dave, look. You're not ugly or anything. It's just that.... Alice turned suddenly, “Where’s Roy? I have to tell him. I mean officially he’s my boss. I need to tell Abby, too, since she’s the head of HR. I’m sure the shit is going to hit the fan because of this revelation.” Alice hurried over to the other table in the dining area they were seated at. Her arms were flapping. Dori was sitting with them so she could tell all her friends from Knightsbridge Manufacturing what had just been published in the local newspaper.Alice remained agitated all night long. She sat with Erin for a while as she called around to find out how the story happened to make the newspaper, but the best that anybody could report was that it came in on a legitimate wire from AP Regional, looked like local human interest, and so it got inserted into the paper as a filler on a slow news day because it was the right length and word count. Some junior employee just made a decision about how to fill some white space on an interior page.Alice rolled her eyes and crossed her.
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