The problem was, that's as far as my body would let me go. One secretary named Sandy was pretty brazen in suggesting a little tryst. I felt humiliated when I couldn't follow through. Mister Happy was definitely not happy, and I left the motel room ashamed that I'd even tried and hating myself all the more because my body didn't work.Oh, the nurse said the doc is running late this morning. Don't worry - we've got plenty of time to the good parts.I started going to the counselor alone, and I discovered things that had been bothering me all my life. My mom had secretly wanted a girl, and when I was eight or nine, she told me that she hoped I'd have been a girl. Coupled with the fact that she had a daughter after me who was a little princess, I felt worthless, like being a boy was something I should be ashamed of. Later, as I got into high school, some of the girls started some really nasty gossip about me. The upshot was that I had no dates in school. I felt like the girls had. Something I had not been doing much of lately. Finally after Sherri finished her breakfast we headed to school. I played her radio on the way to school to avoid conversation. As I walked onto campus I felt much less like I had the word SLUT tattooed on my forehead. The short cheer skirt actually helped give a bounce to my step and I was happy I had tried out for freshman cheerleader. I ran into Elizabeth and she gave me a hug and kissed each cheek and greeted me sweetly, Hey kiddo how are you feeling this morning, she asked. I nodded and answered, Pretty good thank you, how bout you? You look better today, and Im fine thank you, she replied. She grabbed my hand and we walked into school together. No sooner then we were inside and there was Scott waiting, probably for me. Morning honey pie, he said. Morning, I said back. Dont you look all cheery, he said laughing at his own pun. I let out a little giggle and shrugged and then giggled too. Elizabeth rolled her eyes. A wonder how.
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