You aren't supposed to drink alcohol with those pills."Maybe not, but it was working. I suddenly realized that the pain was nearly gone! I had trouble relaxing though. Every time I lay my head back and closed my eyes I saw huge black cocks coming at me.Between the soft music and the wine and the drugs I finally relaxed. I sat in the tub until the water was cool and Dennis dried me off and helped me to stand at the sink so that I could brush my teeth for a very long time.Then he helped me to bed. I was trying to explain to him that I couldn't sleep but the next thing I knew it was after ten in the morning. I woke up with a start and saw how late it was and I started to throw back the covers and get up. As soon as I moved the pain hit me.Dennis had been sitting in a chair by the window and I hadn't even seen him. He got up and helped me to my feet and I leaned on him as I made my way to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and he told me that he had called us both in sick this morning.I. She had prevented me from killing myself, but she was too late. My light had died, my fire had gone out. I just stood there staring at the bulkhead; my words playing over and over in my head, "I am become death. On a pale horse I ride..."Chapter 40Over the next few months, I was only vaguely aware of my surroundings. I spent a while in the hospital as the Doctors nursed my body back to health. They removed many of the scars my tormentors left on my physical body, but they couldn't do anything for my mental wounds, not that they didn't try; a whole corps of shrinks was brought in to try to break through my catatonia. None of it helped. The only thing that provoked a response was when Dan brought me my laptop and I began working on my ship designs again.I vaguely remember going to both Brian and Cheryl's memorial service. Dan made me go; he dressed me and guided me around like I was a blind woman, but I didn't respond at all. I just stared straight ahead and exhibited no.
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