"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30."Jesus Loves You."Nice to hear in. I decided I needed to take care of it.in the shower.My bedroom has an ensuite shower and toilet, so it was no problem to hop out of bed, cross the room, and enter the cubicle. I took Percy in hand and squirted body lotion on him, then began wanking off.I suddenly felt a draft and turned towards the door."Can I help with that, Uncle Dan?" asked Roz, poised, naked, ready to step into the shower with me.I stopped wanking and stared at her, my brain somewhere else. "Huh?"I suppose she took the fact that I hadn't said no, go away, as permission, so she stepped inside the shower with me and closed the door. I couldn't avoid noticing that her nipples were hard as she wrapped her fingers around my cock and began to slide them along it. A moment later, she bent forward and wrapped her lips round the tip of me cock and I felt her tongue at work.I found my voice at last. "Uh, Roz, you don't want to do that..."She drew her head back. "Why? Don't you like it? You seemed to like it when mum did it.
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