She will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart.”“That great!” says the frog. “So what’s the bad news?”“Well, you’re going to meet her in Biology class.”✧ ✧ ✧A woman’s on vacation and calls homeShe asks her husband, “How’s my cat doing?”The husband says, “The cat’s dead.”The woman’s upset and says, “Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can’t enjoy my vacation now. You could have just said a little white lie, like the cat’s on the roof and you can’t get her down.”“Okay, I’m sorry,” says the husband, “I’ll remember that.”The woman says, “Anyway, how’s my mother doing?”The husband says, “Your mother’s on the roof and we can’t get her down.”✧ ✧ ✧What do you get when you cross a whore with a computer??A fucking know it all✧ ✧ ✧Good HeavensThe teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their. “Hey!” he called out. “You made it.” “Did you have any doubts?” “None at all. Here, I got you this.” Rick handed her a baseball cap like the one he was wearing. “I realized after you left we’d be riding in the sun and a sunburnt head would ruin our fun.” “Thanks,” said Hailey as she put the hat on, weaving her ponytail though the back. “You look great! Are you ready?” “Yeah, I think so.” “Did you bring sunscreen?” “Yeah, and I put some on before I came up.” “Good thinking. Well, shall we?” Rick led Hailey down to the water where a handsome young man was waiting in the water with two wave runners. He went over the basic safety instructions and had Hailey ride with him for a test ride so she understood how it worked. Once he was sure she could operate it properly, he bade the couple goodbye. Rick led them over the crystal-clear, blue water for close to an hour before they arrived at the cove. Hailey saw a beautiful white sandy beach, with small hills and hiking trails. It was clear.
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