‘I’m so very alone! No one wants me. No one loves me. I wish I was dead. I wish I had never been born.’ More and more of her internal thinking came to life adding more fuel to her depressed mood. Perhaps it was the weather, the gray skies and all, but her mood was growing darker as the minutes of the day melted into the infinite realm of time. ‘Oh Winston, I’m so lonely.’ Soon her crying intensified, sending rivers of tears down her cheeks and onto the couch. Grabbing a pillow, she hugged it with all her strength, as she pulled her knees up against her chest. She began to cry uncontrollably as she rocked back and forth. Maggie slowly started to lose her grip with reality, her mind a cocktail of negativity. ‘Oh God, I’m losing it!’ she cried out with such intensity that, Winston jumped down and hid under a chair. Maggie started to cry hysterically. The very fabric of her being was being pulled apart till the threads that held her conscience to the logical world began to unravel. As. The girl on the toilet was often Rose, while the one in hiding became that person. Soon it became very difficult for Rose to have an orgasm without visualizing this fantasy or something similar. She was perplexed about this, particularly since she had not been familiar with the idea of sex and anything associated with the act of using the toilet. She had seen no references to it in her research on the computer. What was it about this solitary visual that touched on Rose's primal urges to such an extent? Nothing had even come close. It both concerned her and fascinated her. One evening while she was using the bathroom at home, she found herself reaching between her legs while on the toilet and touching a piece of firm shit as it pushed out of her. She grasped it with her hand and brought it out to the light. Without thinking much about it, she brought it to her mouth and touched it with her lips. She thought that, if it weren't for the fact that it was her shit, she would like the way.
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