Of course, we have the ‘No means No’ rule, but we also have an agreement on a safe word that we remind each other about all the time. For us, that word has been ‘Red.’ It’s not a normal conversational word, stands out of context, is easy to say and remember, and hard to misunderstand. It’s the equivalent of a huge STOP sign for any of us. It’s been used a couple of times when a couple of the guys got a little rough, but sometimes some of the women like that. What works with one person won’t work with another. What works at one time won’t work at another.“When you say consent, we’ve found that you may have to get a little more specific than your general rule about consenting adults. For instance, does saying OK to sex mean that you can jam into some woman’s ass to have anal sex with her, or might you want to ask first? If someone is into BDSM and their partner isn’t, we’ve found in our other club that some specificity is needed. Over time we’ve learned about each member’s various. I was in the right seat,my date driving, his hand occasionally caressing my leg, light chat, andsoothing to my mind and emotions. The place was very small, very open,and for my taste, too well lighted, but we were there.They seated us in a back table, and said the kitchen would be closing ina few minutes and we needed to place our order. All I really remember isthat the place was nice, the servers attentive, they always referred tome in the femme gender, and my soul surged. Ron was attentive, romantic,touching my hand as we sipped our wine, I think I had chicken, but Ireally can't remember. All I do remember is how much of a gentleman hewas during dinner. Before I knew it, we finished and I needed to go to the restroom. Now,remember, my first time in a public restaurant, as a woman, and I neededrelief. I told Ron my problem and he just smiled sweetly and told me thatI was a woman and would use the proper room. With my heart beatingwildly, I walked through the restaurant, and felt.
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