He is also a star athlete and that attracts a lot of females. Kyle is the kind of guy who can have anyone he wants. And I do mean anyone. The guy’s a bisexual and I know a lot about his background. Kyle often tells me about his conquests, both male and female. He’s not the commitment type. Kyle has been scared of commitment ever since his parents got divorced. Kyle’s mother Sarah was a conniving broad who took his father William to the cleaners. Kyle’s father ended up moving from Boston to Montreal. I didn’t blame the guy. Kyle hasn’t spoken to his mother in years and he likes it that way. He and his father talk on the phone often. Kyle doesn’t trust members of the weaker sex, though he makes an exception for me. I can’t really blame Kyle for not trusting women. I don’t trust women either. I’ve got only male friends, for a reason. Male friends won’t judge you or criticize you. You won’t believe how many times my day got ruined by some nasty comment made by a nasty bitch. I developed. Dear French-cut panties- Every time I see you in the shop I want to buy you, but I never do. One day I will own you but for now I am silently judging your style as you are high waisted and I am not ready for that type of commitment. I prefer your smaller cut cousins when it comes to underwear. Dear string underwear- Thank you for being slightly 'fuller' in the front and back, and a thin string on the sides. You are comfortable and I like wearing you. Not as much as your sister g-string, but I still like and enjoy you. Dear hipsters- Thank you for allowing me to wear low-cut jeans. I like your style, we should hang out more often. I am sorry that I like blue cheese so much and now you are slowly getting tighter. In fact, not just blue cheese but all food. (That's another open letter) That goes to all my underwear actually, I am sorry that some of you are slowly getting tighter, but I don't want to start buying you in a bigger size. It is winter here now, and I am hibernating, so please.
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