Something. To wonder if I’m wrong now. To feel like I’m permanently trapped between choices.’ She glares. ‘You didn’t tell me it would be this complicated. You didn’t tell me it would hurt this much.’ Eventually, in the long silence, her glare subsides. Sadness flows back into her eyes and she returns to the simplicity of her hair. She asks, ‘Is this what it means to be real?’ No answer. More contemplation of her hair. ‘I could take it away. Make you forget him.’ Forget him…. Forget the anger, the screaming pain when he left her… the unadulterated joy when they reunited… the slow realization of bitter anger and unforgiven sins… wounds that cut too deep to ever be healed by him… the horrifying realization of her own faults and sins that led to their demise. ‘No.’ ‘No?’ ‘No.’ ‘Why not?’ Why not…. the laughter, the tears… the way he’d looked at her in that dress, pictures and pictures and pictures… that day in the field, in the sun… the holes he dug in the sand… the laughter. Don't be late." I hung up the phone.Naturally Anita did not show up Friday, waiting until Thursday night to cancel.Anita was unapologetic. "But Darrin, surely you can comprehend the situation. Wesley got a great last minute deal on a cruise. He knows the bar waiters brother, we could get upgraded. It will be my first time out of the country, a chance to use my passport." Damn it Anita, you cannot do this to your son!" I was pissed."I am not going to argue with you about this Darrin." Anita countered."I do not argue with idiots Anita. Idiots just drag you down to their level, and beat you with experience." I said to her. "You get AJ all fired up, now I have to clean up this mess." Darrin, do not be such a drama queen. AJ will understand." Anita replied. "I will make it up to him another time." Don't bother." I hung up the phone.I should have been happy. The ROYAL VIKING was in port, I was going to be sailing on her for three days. My task was uploading a new engine control software,.
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