" She's not my friend, really." Those weeks when you wouldn't see me because you had some 'treatment'to go to, well I felt pretty rejected. I was thinking about giving up onyou when you're coworker Steph slipped something under my dorm roomdoor. All her note said was that the enclosed unpublished article wasabout someone I cared about. After reading it, I put the piecestogether. I realized that you're real name was John and you were pushedout of your dorm for being trangendered."I found it hard to breathe as Ben said these words to me. So HE's KNOWNabout me All of This Time. And I had no idea. Suddenly I didn't feelvery lady like, but instead a caricature of the woman I was trying tobe. A shell of something trying to be a woman. I searched Ben's eyes forwhat his next move was going to be. Was he going to desert me? And justwhat did our love mean to him? Ben just gave me a slight look, as if hewere looking at something pathetic, like someone not worth his time.Just like last night, I. She put a knee length black dress on and heels and made her way out to the waiting taxi.All night she alternated her drinks with water, she wanted to have some awareness of Ian and her surroundings.It was getting late and the others where ordering taxis they offered her lift but she told them she was meeting Ian in the next pub, pulled her phone out she texted him to tell him she would be leaving in half an hour, he replied saying she wouldn’t know where he was but just to start the walk home they had discussed.Frankie finished her drink, went to relieve herself and put the hold ups on, she said bye to the girls and headed out of the pub.She stood outside and lit a cigarette, it was a chilly night and she didn’t have much on, but was grateful that she had at least added the hold ups.She set off walking down the road, past the remaining pubs looking all around her in case Ian appeared.She crossed the road and walked over the bridge, hoping that wasn’t the place he chose, thankfully he.
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