I felt for sure that was it for real. ButI can't tell. I mean, I didn't turn around and put my hands on it tocheck. What if I was wrong? He'd have fired me for sure! What if I wasright?What if I was right? What if Mr. Simms does want me? Then I could behis wife for real.Oh I am letting my fantasies run wild. And I'm pressing it here. I'mtrying to stay awake for when Paul comes back. I'm sure he's gone offsomewhere to get blitzed again. I'm worried about him. I hope he's notgotten himself into an accident or something. Or pulled over for drivingdrunk. But I can't keep myself awake any longer. So, it's off to bedfor me. At least I feel tired enough now that I won't need any ofCeline's tea. And I won't have the Mediation playing so if Paul comes inI'll hear him. I hope.Day 484:That was unexpected. Lots unexpected.Day 488:Of course, everything comes at once.Ms. Cambrai got back from her trip Back East. I ached to see her. Sheached to see me too! Yay! But, I had to. Uhhhh, you know, uhhhh, well uhhhh, left it in” ?, she asked. It was weird that the actual words and terminology required had to be negated from their dialog. It didn’t make sense. “I never did cum in any of them. I DIDN’T TRUST THEM OKAY !”, he exclaimed with exasperation. There was silence as each stood there looking at each other, him with a fire and want his eyes, her with sadness and on the edge of tears in her eyes. He looked at her quizzically because of the moistness in her eyes,“Whats the matter” ?, he asked. She stood there staring ahead in disbelief and let out a short breath, “they never trusted me”, she whispered weakly. It hit him just then why it never lasted with the girls he was with and what the ending issue always was. They (girls) longed to fully complete the act. He was looking at the girl who wanted the same thing yet she to had never received it. Each of them wanted it so bad, they wanted to know what it felt like, to have that moment, that closeness, that level.
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