I don’t know why I chose Dallas, God knows I didn’t know anyone there, I just wanted to get as far away as I could from Mom and my grandparents. In my bag I had stashed away a couple of pairs of high heels and some lipstick. I also had – in addition to the hundred bucks Mom had given me – 200 bucks that Micheal had hidden from Mom. The bus pulled into Dallas in the late afternoon. It was June and really hot. I wandered around the city for hours with no idea where I was going. Eventually I found myself in what I was later to learn was a ghetto. Being from a small town I knew next to nothing about the world. I went into a store and bought a couple of fuck magazines. Everyone I saw around me was black or Latino – which was strange to me because there were very few black people in the town I had spent my life in. After leaving the store I walked a couple of blocks. I spotted a decrepit looking building with a flashing neon sign in front that said “Hotel Dallas”. It was getting dark. I. Allegedly, these are genuine answers (from 16 year olds).Q. Name the four seasons.A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.Q. How is dew formed?A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.Q. What are steroids?A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope).Q. What happens to your body as you age?A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true).Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.A. Premature death.Q. What is artificial insemination?A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.Q. How can you delay milk turning.
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