.” he replied, trailing off. But then I thought aloud, “What about your girlfriend? Leah, was it?” He then answered tentatively, “Yeah, she’s cool and all, but she just doesn’t understand me, you know? The rain picked up, the wipers working furiously to clear a view in the windshield. I sat for a while, not saying anything, staring out the rain splattered window, thinking about what Mack had just said. Was he getting at what I think he was getting at? No. It couldn’t be. I had lost track of time in my thoughts and jumped when I realized where we were: his house. God, I hadn’t been here in years. It looked just the same as it had the last time I was here though, quaint. I unbuckled my seat belt and tried to push the car door open, but to no avail. I started to slightly panic, What’s going on here? “Oh, sorry, I must’ve left the child lock on for my little brother.” Mack apologized. He stepped out of the car, went around the front and like a perfect gentleman, held the door for me,. I feel like a big part of me is ripped away. She's going withLaura this time. While they spend the week in Vegas, I'll be spending theweek with my new best friend, who just happens to be a drag queen. Icried last night after she told me. I don't think she heard me,thankfully. 'I could hear him sobbing in the bathroom last night. Music to my ears.I'm surprised by my lack of empathy for Chris. I feel so free. I don'thave to pretend to care. I do with him exactly as I wish and I have noguilt about it whatsoever. I feel like a primitive before themissionaries show up to teach me about guilt. He deserves this, and Ideserve this. He's just so lucky he has me. I love him, I do. I just lovetorturing him. He's forgotten all about his mother's birthday. I haven't. His sistercalled him to remind him and ask him what he wanted to do for herbirthday. I had him call her back when I knew she wasn't home and leaveher a message. "Hi it's me Chris. I'm just way too busy right now to even begin to.
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