The girls had deepened their own special relationship apart from me. Both girls considered themselves "straight" and the developing sexual need was supposed to be a secret. I had not felt excluded and thought it provided them a deeper security. Brittany suffered deep bouts of homesickness and would slip into a lethargic melancholy. I observed Jennifer get sexually aggressive with Brittany when she was in this mood.The complex and constant barrage of stimuli of modern American life was lacking here. This simple primitive existence refocused your needs. The appreciation of our few pleasures had grown. We savored the company of each other. Talking, touching and sex were important parts actions that reaffirmed our social collectiveness. This bonding was a reassurance of security that united our little family.But it was not always an idealistic world. Eden had an edge. The complex sexual relationship of three could be problematic. Jealousies, individual irritations and conflicts with. I rested a few minutes. Barb, Sherry and Katie arrived with their packs. "Where is Amy?" I ask."She's back the trail behind us." Sherry replied."I'm going to go back to help her." I announced.I walked for five minutes before I find Amy. She is stooped over and shuffling her feet along as she moved down the trail. "Let me carry that for you." Oh, Jon. Thank God." Amy said. "I don't know how I'll ever make it through this trip. If every day is like this, I want to go home." No, most days won't be this hard. Remember, last night Joe warned us about today. We'll get to camp. We can relax. Have a swim. Do anything you want. You can do this!" I said, trying to encourage Amy.We walked quietly to Proulx Lake and the rest of our group.I swung our canoe away from the shore and started east into the lake. Amy and I led the way for our crew. I saw about a mile ahead where the lake split into two parts. We wanted to stay to the left, go around the bend and find a campsite. This would put us closer.
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