" God Alex!" Kevin began. Our faces still close together. "I think I'msorry I asked. You're so uptight you're actually sending yourself crazy.I would have thought you'd realised. I mean we both know crazy prettywell. I'd suggest you get laid to chill a bit but we know that doesn'twork with you," he surveyed me cynically.I imagine my countenance expressed my mixture of resentful angst.After sighing he continued slowly."It was a fleeting thought born from years of anger Alex. And there is abig difference between having it and acting upon it. I'm not about toperpetuate the cycle simply because I was raised with abuse. I feel likeI'm trying to honor the deal we made but you're not. And it's becauseyou don't trust me." I... I am trying Kevin. But I'm smaller and weaker than you. It's awfulfeeling so frail and pathetic." Well try imagining what it's like to be a 7 year old girl then!" Okay," I remark heavily. "I suppose that's fair. Maybe I need thatperspective. What I'm enduring is not a. Another crew member says that I can cause all the trouble I want as long as they get to watch me get spanked. Uncle Carl asks the crew, so let me get this straight you want Jennifer to continue to act like a naughty girl just so she will earn a spanking. There was a unanimous response of yes from the entire crew and then one crewman suggested that the spankings could take place in the galley. One after another started giving Carl and I ideas on how and when it could be done, saying they could build a raised platform so everyone could easily see. The mechanic asked what Carl had last used on me and he said it was his belt, the mechanic said he had a much better material that he could fashion into a solid substantial punishment strap that would really make me howl and would be more effective than his flimsy belt. I was blushing so much my face was hot listening to how much these men wanted to watch me get punished, then one asked if they could see the result of the whipping I had just.
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