In fact, I know I don’t.”“Are we going to get breakfast?” Jessica asked. “I’m hungry!”“Yes. Are you going to find an AA Chapter and go to a meeting?”“You won’t leave me alone about this until I do, will you?”“Nope.”“Then yes, I will,” she sighed.She’d agreed, but like just about everything else in my life at the moment, Reagan’s admonition to ‘trust, but verify’ loomed large.October 29, 1991, Chicago, Illinois“You have a lot of nerve coming in here!” Crystal said when she came to the booth I was sitting in.“Send a different waitress over!”I knew she wouldn’t, because I knew she LIKED the banter and silliness. I was also reasonably sure that she DID want to go to bed with me, but she was in such a state that she’d never admit it. And that was fine with me. I was enjoying myself.“No, despite being annoying, you always leave a very good tip!”“If you like the tip, you’ll like the whole thing even better!” I smirked.“What is it with you?!” she asked, exasperated. “Are you going to twist. I could have gotten a different nurse and I didn't. I think I just appreciated the way she cared for you, and I guess it never occurred to me that you might fall in love with her as well." Are you saying you think that I'm in love with her?" I asked. "Honey, I've watched you when she comes into the house. I watched the way your eyes seemed to glow with love and the way your face took on a different complexion. It's a look that only a woman who has loved and been loved would recognize." I don't know what to say, Mom." "You don't have to say anything, honey. It would be nice to know what your feelings for her are but it really doesn't matter. I guess I just wanted to let you know that I know and I guess I understand in a way. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet though." I think I fell in love with her almost the second I saw her," I said, "but I didn't want to, and even when I kind of knew, I didn't want to admit it. There's never been a woman before, just men and it confused me and.
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