Judy lay back, completely relaxed after the massage, and enjoyed the pampering she was receiving. Once the mask was applied, the beautician asked her about the hairstyle she wanted. Judy hadn’t thought about changing her hair, but as the beautician showed her several styles, she began thinking. She was tired of hassling with her long hair. John liked it long and made a fuss every time she broached the subject of a shorter, easier, hairdo. ‘Well, I’ll show him,’ she thought as she settled on a cute cut that would be sheik yet easy to maintain. She was directed to another chair, where she lay back for a shampoo and conditioning. Moving back to the barber chair, she was surrounded by two manicurists. One worked on her fingernails, the other her toenails while the lead beautician cut and trimmed her hair. Once her hair was styled and the manicurists finished, the beautician pealed off the mask, and then waxed her eyebrows. Gazing in the mirror, Judy liked what she saw. She ran her. With all that in mind, I actually listened more today then I had any of the other sessions I had attended. I learned how other women felt also having guilt about their rape and no matter what, the fact that they had said the word “No” should have been enough. I learned that it is important to be careful of the situations you place yourself in, but that you can’t beat yourself up for what is in the past. You can only learn from it and work to keep yourself in safer situations. Some of the things really got to me and brought me to tears and I was glad I wasn’t there alone as I felt Elizabeth’s hand touch my hand when I felt myself crying. I made it through the meeting and I think for the first time I understood why people went to those sessions. The question was could I do what it took to open up my heart and mind to accept help and to open up with myself and others what had happened to me. We left the meeting quietly and Elizabeth was quiet in the car after, she just asked me.
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