‘You’ll become flustered and you’ll want to be with her too, to feel your nakedness together and to do what is natural. Of course I will see the look in your eyes and know what is in your mind as it will be conveyed to me without your willing it. ‘The first thing I feel is not jealousy but elation in knowing you can find enjoyment in something that is intended to be enjoyable. I’ll smile at you and tell you to go, to be with her believing it is what you need and want. It’s what makes life worthwhile and when we engage in such things, we confirm our pleasure in life and in living. ‘I’ve only just begun to understand what love is and if it weren’t for you, I think I would’ve given up before now. I only know how I feel when you hold me and touch me. No one touches me the way you do and makes me feel the things you make me feel. No one has ever treated me with such kindness and respect as you do. No one has made me feel more important in simply existing, in breathing the same air. There’s nothing quite like getting laid to make the world seem a better place. Jennifer and I had enjoyed an evening of passion and I knew we had an ongoing agreement for the Friday nights and other days when Rupert would be visiting his ‘friends’, which I now suspected was a euphemism to trawl Soho for likeminded individuals.I’d learned a little of her story, a naïve orphan, who’d run away from home after being seduced by a worldly older man. Only to find herself locked into a relationship she barely understood yet loving the job that he’d persuaded the headmistress (apparently an Aunt of his) to give her. Sex was an occasional thing when Rupert felt able to use her, yet only in the dark, her on her knees and her hair under a tight scarf. Even then he’d used her in a way that she knew was unnatural, even if it occasionally pleasured her. She’d swiftly learned to keep her mouth shut as, although Rupert generally wasn’t violent, he was accomplished in verbal domination and the threat.
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