" Nonsense, I have already informed them that you'll be coming. Just pick up your laptop and some extra clothes. You can take a shower at our home to wash away the sand."Okay, so I was a bad person and enjoyed seeing her uncomfortable. However, I wasn't going to give her any choice in that. After a bit more pressing she agreed, but I could feel that this wasn't going the way she had planned. I stopped outside her hotel and waited inside the car as she went in to pick up her laptop, and get some extra clothes.I guess her curiosity was greater than her discomfort, since it didn't take her long to collect her stuff. I closed my eyes for a moment, and did some exercises in order to calm myself down before she re-entered the car.I had a feeling that there would be some dark times ahead. I had faced darkness before. I just refused to let it control my life. Or I had to at least try.End of year 2004, Khao Lak, ThailandWith a few little bribes, I was able to legally – sigh – adopt Pam. For. " He said he would give me two days; that he was reserving a room at a motel, and I'd better show up." She finally glanced at me, a look full of pain and humiliation. "Tomorrow is the day. I would never have gone; God, I couldn't have. I could never do that to you or to myself. Terry, you have to believe me. I was going to talk to you tonight, to ask you for help. Then you told me, 'I know what you did.' "That killed me. I didn't even think how you found out. The thought came to me that you thought I was going to cheat on you and ... and, I just died."She looked at me again, and then looked down like she was afraid of me ... or of what I was going to do. I thought about what she had said. I wasn't that upset at what she had done; I knew we could get by that. I felt the pain she had been carrying—it must have been terrible for her. I guess the only thing I was bothered about was that she hadn't come to me earlier. In my direct manner I didn't get hung up on that. I needed time to think.
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